Mourning What Was

Mourning is a process we go through to come to terms with loss, sadness, devastation and other forms of emotional trauma. People mourn in different ways and for different lengths of time. What may feel right for you might not feel right for another. Right now, most people are mourning the loss of “normalcy”. I know I am and many of my friends and family are. When will things go back to “normal”? The sad truth, for now at least, is that it won’t. In fact, the world has been so impacted that it probably won't ever. We will more than likely emerge with a new “normal”. There is a lot that we are uncertain of right now.

You must consider:

Are we recognizing that we are mourning?

Are you forgiving of yourself for your feelings?

Are you forgiving of others for their feelings?

If we are not compassionate and considerate of others, we could turn on each other.

I have been in a terrible mood the past week. It was triggered by the sudden loss of a friend. The current world and my daily circumstances just add to the impact. All of these things are facts of life that we must live with AND remember: we are just human. It’s safe to say I have not been happy in recent days. However, if I dwell in my misery I will get stuck there. I know that my friend would not wish for me to be miserable, especially since he had such enthusiasm for life and was such an extrovert. It is important to recognise the loss, work through it and find a way to move forward.

There are natural ways to boost our “happy” hormones (oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine). Look at your interests and see where you can find comfort and enthusiasm (other than food). What things are beneficial that are within your control and within current social restrictions, that you can do to lift your spirits? Happiness, like being physically strong or earning a steady income, requires ongoing effort.

Human beings find comfort in routine. What can you include in your daily routine, to keep your spirits up? The small things you do are the things that make the big difference to wallowing in misery or feeling your sorrow, acknowledging it and moving yourself out of it. You also might feel you need someone to support you through your journey out of sorrow. Who could that person be for you? Someone that can encourage you in a practical way and not feel sorry for you. Remember, you are the only one that can make yourself happy. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself but put effort into your well-being. You will thank yourself and live your best life. Why would you not want to live your best life? Living in the past is living with regret and misery and sadness. We only ever have now. Be happy now. Enjoy now. Live now.

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