Happy Fathers' Day - Dad

What gift can you give your father on Fathers’ Day, when your dad is not with you in person? I dedicate this blog in memory of my father, Colin. He is missed and thought of daily. My father was a really special man whose life ended too soon. He has been gone a little over thirteen years and this year (just 2 weeks ago) would have celebrated his 70th birthday. He taught me many things when I recall what an amazing person he was. These are qualities I came to learn over the years through his behaviour and how he conducted his life, as well as on reflection after his passing.

My father was born in 1951 in the Johannesburg, South Africa. He grew up in a traditional family and was the second of four children. He and my mom dated from their early teens. On their first anniversary of their dating (April 1967) when my dad was almost 16 years old, my mom gave him a necklace with a Star of David as a gift, which he wore for the rest of his life. They were devoted to each other and he was very protective of and loyal to her. Together they had three children. He was a loving son, a loyal husband and devoted father and very protective of his family. The value of family is evident in the amount of time we spent with our grandparents growing up. I was fortunate to have all four grandparents well into my 20s. My father worked hard to give us the life he wanted for us. Education and health were top priorities and my parents, together, ensured that we had all that we needed to live a comfortable life, to have all our basic needs taken care of. Of course there were times which were harder and easier for them, but they never let that affect the quality of our lives as children.

My father was a businessman and owned a number of businesses and was most successful in his last one which he ran for 23 years. In the end he fought cancer when the doctors told him not to even bother trying to fight. When he was diagnosed he was given 2 to 3 months to live, but he survived for 16 months. He almost went into remission and for people meeting him, they didn’t know he was even receiving treatment.

Reading all of this it sounds like a nice, cookie-cutter story, so what is so special about it? What we consider boring or average is not the average today. It takes a lot of work, commitment and dedication. This is what I learnt from my father and what I am so proud of him and my mother for. He was a dedicated and loyal family man, first and foremost to my mom. Together they were devoted parents to my siblings and me, as well as devoted children to their parents and doting grandparents. This extended to our larger family and friends. He was a rock to many people and they came to depend on him in different ways. My father lived his life with integrity. He was a businessman people were happy to do business with. With him, what you saw is what you got – no smoke and mirrors. He took ownership of who he was and what he did and he could do so with confidence, because when you deal honestly there is nothing to hide from. He lived his life with determination to be the best he could for his family and he did all of this because he cared. These are qualities of a true hero who could depart from this world with confidence in the name he left for himself. While I write this in his memory, I remember his gifts to his family on Fathers’ Day and the example he left for me of the person I strive to be.